


BUCKETCHAT

by Jennifer-Oksana (JenniferOksana)



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Chatlogs, Comedy, Crack, Episode: s03e13 Taking a Break from All Your Worries, Gossip, Humor, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 02:39:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6220396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniferOksana/pseuds/Jennifer-Oksana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The real reason why there are no networked computers or internetz on Galactica. ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	BUCKETCHAT

Topic: WHY WONT THE BABYSTEALING H0R AIRLOCK BALTAR ALREADY DAMN!!!  
HLo: i mean frak, its not rocket science, hes a killer frakker who frakks cylons n shit.  
BBoyStance: dude, you frak a cylon every day wtf r u talkin bout?  
HLo: he frakked the evil cylons and athenas not ev0l stfu anderzzzzz.  
**Cally has entered chat  
Cally: Is my husband here?  
BBoyStance: no hes out drinkin with the frakwad frakking my h0r wife.  
Cally: Oh, frak, I hate when he drinks w/Lee.  
BBoyStance: srsly?  
Cally: He gets all weepy and wakes Nicky up and it's 4 shit. Hey, who's in here, a/s/l?  
HLo: hi cally, its helo.  
BBoyStance: duh  
c14eva: hi, tory from the president's office.  
tr4cksback: hey, its racetrack.  
HOT DOG666: HOT DOG IN THE HOUSE!!!  
Cally: Oh, awesome, so what's up, anyway?  
tr4cksback: nuttin much.  
Cally: any good stuff happening? I mean, what's up with Baltar being alive still?  
c14eva: he has to go to 'trial' or whatever. i swear, sometimes i think she's just frakking pregnant or something these days she acts so weird.  
HLo: yeah if she was pregnant maybe somebody could STEAL HER BABY.  
BBoyStance: dude, chill with it. we know she's the BABYSTEALER. WE FEEL UR PAIN!  
Cally: THat was so messed up.  
HLo: I KNOW SERIOUSLY.  
HOT DOG666: dudez i am so wasted right now and i have to fly patrol and shit tomorrow.  
tr4cksback: you frak-ass frakking [redacted].  
Cally: so who's starbuck doin' this week?  
HOT DOG666: UR MOM DUH  
HOT DOG666: I BET SOMEDAY HER AND DEE WILL DO IT JUST CUZ.  
BBoyStance: no, dee hates her SO MUCH. It would be kinda of hotbut i don't think so.  
Cally: Is anyone good doin' it?  
HLo: just the babystealing h0r and the old man. like, apparently they're going at it like horny teenagers because the old man is all sure that the h0r will go hit it with zarek if she's not kept...well-done.  
c14eva: that's because it's kind of true.  
Cally: OMG SERIOUSLY? I thought that was all bullshit Baltar said because he was the biggest h0r in the entrie universe. I mean entire, sorry!  
c14eva: oh, i so can't say, she has magic knowledge of when i tell her 'stories' and then i have to like, check sanitation. I bet BILLY never had to check sanitation.  
BBoyStance: TEASE.  
HOT DOG666: COMEON TELL US.  
HLo: turn off caps lock, Hot Dog, u jagweed.  
HOT DOG666: IS THERE ANY1 BESIDE HLO WHO WOULDNT HIT THAT?  
BBoyStance: no, i'd hit that.  
tr4cksback: maybe gaeta.  
HLo: well, that's because gaetas a h0m0 and n luv with baltar.  
tr4cksback: 100% trufax!  
**CommTypeGuy has entered chat  
HLo: dude, she steals babies.  
CommTypeGuy: hey everybody.  
BBoyStance: she's the MILF of all time. I mean, its like Starbcuk.  
HLo: dude just cuz ur ok that ur wife's a hooker...  
CommTypeGuy: oh, frak, we already talkin who is more of a h0r, roslin or starbuck?  
Cally: Already? We've talked about this before?  
CommTypeGuy: Hi, Cally! YES ALL THE TIME. It's all anyone ever talks about here. EVER. Cuz clearly the world can't be saved by sexually active women WITHOUT comment.  
HLo: dude, she stole my baby. STOLE MY BABY.  
BBoyStance: dude, i can talk about my wife's sex if i wanna.  
Cally: But isn't Roslin screwing Adama right now?  
HOT DOG666: HE IS SLIPPIN HER THE HOT BEEF INJECTION AS WE SPEAK.  
tr4cksback: ur such a deck.  
Cally: So we talk about old people sex.  
c14eva: dude, she's milfy. i'd hit it, 2.  
HOT DOG666: THAT IS THE HOTTEST SHIT EVER.  
c14eva: yeah, but i never got to hit it, oh no, instead she was busy babystealing and playing house with maya.  
HLo: o shit u never said that b4.  
c14eva: o shit, i'm in so much trouble. I'm drunk, K? I NEVER SAID THAT SHE DIDN'T SLEEP WITH MAYA NO WAY.  
CommTypeGuy: Oh, I thought the really scary one Roslin frakked was Lee.  
BBoyStance: WHAT???? No WAY, that deck gets ALL THE GOOD TRIM WHY?  
CommTypeGuy: Like when they were all playing revolutionary bitchez with Zarek, I always thought she had herself a hot revolutionary sandwich.  
Cally: Wow, this really is all you guys talk about. Maybe you all should have sex with other people.  
c14eva: dude, our president is magic. remember how she stole a baby? and escaped from prison while dying of cancer and then made your admiral her betch? MAGIC.  
Cally: I miss when my husband wasn't a drunk h0r hanging out with frakking Lee. I had more sex then.  
BBoyStance: Lee is such a douche.  
HLo: ur just jealous.  
BBoyStance: Lee cries after sex. Starbuck says.  
HLo: dude, u let ur wife tell you what lee does when sexin her?  
c14eva: I thought Lee said thank u after sex.  
CommTypeGuy: how do u know?  
c14eva: *whistles* i dunno...  
BBoyStance: OMG DID ROSLIN SEX LEE?  
c14eva: I can neither confirm nor deny the h0rness of she who leads our asses to earth.  
HLo: does the admiral know?  
c14eva: let me think, i'm sure she told him. that's why our leadership is currently asking each other 'who's your daddy? who's your daddy?' while going at it time five this week.  
tr4cksback: TIME FIVE? damn!  
BBoyStance: shit, the old man is a pimp.  
c14eva: I told you. Teenagers. Horny, stupid teenagers.  
Cally: I do it five times a week. Except when I'm on the rag. Also when my man isn't being a drunk h0r with that tool Lee.  
BBoyStance: yeah, but you're not old.  
c14eva: And they're really dirty. I swear, it's to make up for being so, 'Madame President' and 'Admiral Adama' in public. One time, he got past the staff and she jumped on him, full on jumped on him. Like, we're not supposed 2 look or listen, but we all heard her say...  
**c14eva has quit (*.*@249-c1.col-fleet.org)  
HOT DOG666: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
* HOT DOG666 has changed topics: NO SERIOUSLY WHAT DID SHE SAY? CUM BAK!!!  
HLo: She said, babystealing turns me on.  
Cally: Airlocking Cylons, babystealing, and election fraud makes me so hot that I must have your sex right now, big boy.  
tr4cksback: She said, oh gods frak me!  
BBoyStance: d00d, we are so gonna be airlocked if this is ever logged.  
**CommTypeGuy has quit (are you serious? you don't know if this is LOGGED? ASSHOLES!!!)  
tr4cksback: such a gay homosexual.  
**Colonel Saul Tigh has entered chat  
**Colonel Saul Tigh has quit  
Cally: That ws random.  
tr4cksback: He doesn't know how to do chat.  
Cally: Good.  
Cally: Wow, you guys really do spend all your time talking about who's doin it with Starbuck or Roslin, huh?  
BBoyStance: yah.  
HOT DOG666: YES.  
HLo: Dude, TURN OFF CAPSLOCK.  
HOT DOG666: NO.  
Cally: Oh, crap, baby. BRB.  
* Cally is away.  
** guvmintcheez has entered chat  
guvmintcheez: I told you -- like magic, she knows. She had time to call me from ur stupid ship and say, 'Tory, I want you to set my agenda for tomorrow, and please have someone inspect the food disposal ports on the algae processors, dear.'  
HOT DOG666: MAYBE SHE'S A CLYON.  
** HiddenCylon has entered chat  
HiddenCylon: im in ur ship, subvertin ur d00dz.  
HiddenCylon: HIDDENCYLON SXES UR PRESIDENT!  
guvmintcheez: Who HASN'T?  
HiddenCylon: STARBUCK IS A CYLON!  
HiddenCylon: peace im outtie later lamerz!  
** HiddenCylon has quit (ur women are teh sex)  
HLo: Dude, I think that's Lee.  
tr4cksback: dude, who knows? it's a moron.  
** HiddenCylon has entered chat  
HiddenCylon: DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE CYLON GOD?  
BBoyStance: OLD MEME, BETCH.  
** HiddenCylon has been kicked by BBoyStance(OLD MEME)  
Cally: I gotta go, my husband is home.  
BBoyStance: yah, i'm tired.  
HLo: see you guys later.  
tr4cksback: did Hot Dog die of alcohol poisoning?  
guvmintcheez: I have to look at algae gunk tomorrow because I mentioned the h0rness of our glorious leader, so laterz, too.  
BBoyStance: track?  
tr4cksback: hes just passed out. luser.  
HLo: oh good later.  
** HLo has quit (gotta bond with my babystolen daughter!)  
** tr4cksback has quit (ew, he pissed himself)  
** Cally has quit (Lee Adama still sucks)  
** guvmintcheez has quit (she has POWERS I swear to the gods)  
** BBoyStance has quit (time to make teh donuts)  
** HiddenCylon has entered chat  
HiddenCylon: THAT WAS STALE.  
HiddenCylon: oh, shit, where is everyone?  
* HiddenCylon has changed topics: CYLONS BANHAMMER j00!  
* HiddenCylon has changed topics: IM SEXIN UR LADEEZ! I GOT SEXEE LADEEZ  
HiddenCylon: this sux.  
** Caggerstein has entered chat.  
Caggerstein: wazzup, i'm wasted.  
** HiddenCylon has quit (u cri after sex, emo!)  
Caggerstein: wtf?


End file.
